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Learn-More-About-Confesssion

Page history last edited by PBworks 15 years, 7 months ago

Four aspects of confession:

1) seeing a fault as such

2) actually confessing it

3) making amends

4) undertaking restraint for the future

 

'Making amends' refers to the fact that any genuine confession must entail a desire to put right, as far as possible, whatever suffering has been caused by one's action.

 

Of course, making amends may require us to do a lot more than just swallowing our pride and offering an apology. We have to take full responsibility for the consequences of our unskilful action.

 

 

Three kinds of remorse:

1) Ethical remorse

a)recognition that one has fallen short in relation to one's own, independent sense of right and wrong.

b)viewing our unskillful action through the eyes of someone we greatly respect.

2) Neurotic (or false) remorse is remorse which has the fear of punishment, or of losing love, acceptance or status behind it.

3) Functional remorse is the sort of feeling that you have when you wake up at night and think 'Did I lock the back door before I went to bed? I don't think I did. How could I have been so careless?' Whilst lack of minfulness can become negligence which can cause harm to ohters, functional remorse does not involve any intention to cause harm or take advantage of anyone.

(From Remorse and Confession in the Spiritual Community, Subhuti)

 

Asserting that we are better off without a burden of guilt, unhealthy guilt is described as "the painful consciousness of having done or even wanted to so, what will forfeit us the love of the person on whaom we are emotionally dependent"

From The Spiritual Significance of Confession (Sangharakita)

 

 

The danger of guilt is self-hatred. The Virtual Confessional seeks to encourage a shift from self-hatred to self-honesty, anonymous disclosure and self-empathy. By admitting our actions and looking at their consequences we can consider ways in which we can meet our universal needs (including our need to 'Be Better', building meaning day by day.)

 

"When you empathise there is nothing to forgive" (Marshall Rosenberg quoting "A Course of Miracles")

 

"Isn't it enough to acknowledge my regrets to myself?

-It does help a lot, but not enough to completely dissolve self deception. When we express our regrets to...another human being, we can't kid ourselves. As an act of self-compassion and self-respectg, we use a witness [or a web-site?] to expose ourselves to ourselves. Thus instead of carrying around a burden of shame, we're free to make a fresh start. The benefit of laying aside our "neurotic crimes" is being able to go forward without guilt.

The practice of confession is an excellent way to move beyond guilt and self-deception. It relies on th eview that neurosis, while it may feel monolithic or immutable, is essentially transitory and insubstantial. It is just very strong energy that we mistakenly identify as a solid and permanent "me". Confessing...helps us let go of this fixed version of who we are.

When we do something we wish we hadn't, we don't remain oblivious; we acknowledge it with "positive sadness". Instead of condemning ourselves, we can connect with the openhearted tenderness of regret.  Thus the habits of self-deception and guilt have a chance to wither away. This is the essential point of the practice of confession."

(from "No Time to Lose -a timely guide to the way of the Bodhisattva" by Pema Chodron)

 

Buddhism, Confession and Rejoicing in Merit

 

From Vision and Transformation (Sangharakshita, Windhorse Press, p48-49)

 

"Confession is of great importance in all forms of Buddhism, though its significance is psychological rather than theeological. Many people suffer from repressed feelings of guilt, leading very often to self-hatred. They cannot develop loving-kindness, at least not in its fullness. Buddhist monks, if conscious of any fault or shortcoming, confess among themselves, especially to their own teachers, or to the Buddha. It is also the custom, of you are conscious of any fault ot shortcoming in yourself, to burn incense in front of the image of the Buddha and recite Buddhist teachings, and to go on doing this until you feel free from the sense of guilt. Although this is very important psychologically these practices do not absolve you from the consequences of the fault that has been committed. You have still to suffer the consequences of your actions, but you are free, subjectively, from the feeling of remorse or guilt. This is very important, because such feelings can poison or vitiate our whole spiritual life.

 

Rejoicing in Merit is complementary to Confession of Faults. If you think about your faults and contemplate your numerous backslidings too much or too often you may become a bit disheartened. So after confessinf your faults you should inspire yourself by recollecting the vitrues of others, thinking especially of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas, of the lives they have led, and the perfections they have practised. Think, say, of the inspiring example of Milarepa, or Han Shan, or Hui Neng, or Hakuin. Or think of the variuos secular heroes and heroines who have lived for the benefit of others, and whose lives are an inspiration to us: people like Florence Nightingale and Elizabeth Fry, great humanitarians, great social reformers. Think, even, of the virtues of ordinary people: think of your own friends, how well they sometimes act, how unselfish they are on occasion, how kind. Dwell on this more positive side of their natures, and in this way learn to appreciate -to rejoice in - the merits of all other living beings, from the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas right down to the ordinary people who happen to be your friends and neighbours. This will give you a feeling of exhilaration, even of support. You will realise that you are not alone in the world, spiritually speaking, but are treading the dame path that others trod, and are treading, successfully. On account of this realisation you will feel buoyed up in your own spiritual life and spiritual endeavour."

 

 

 

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